I am a direct descendant of Thayumanavar, a 18th century Tamil poet and Hindu

saint.

I have yet to properly read his works. However, when I first heard of him it made

me pause. His quote on silencing the mind and attempting to see things clearly hit

me quite hard.

For the majority of my life I have been writing. In fact, I do not remember a time

that I did not write. I had often struggled with concepts of love, light, and darkness,

attempting to reason with them. Yet there was Thayumanavar already understanding and providing me with my answers.

It was odd realizing this: that I was searching through the eyes of knowledge and

coming up with darkness but that it was okay. I was not the first one to make that

mistake.

And yet it hurt to know this: that all my questions had been asked before and were

already answered. That everything I had to say had already been written. That I

was just someone down the line who had yet to read my ancestor’s great works.

It was a hard day.

No. It was worse than that. No words can properly describe that moment when I

opened my eyes and ears and saw that I was merely an echo of someone from a

distant past. Someone I never cared to know. I was just his whisper. A

doppelganger even, as I was not even searching in the right way.

I did not know there was a wrong way.

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